UNDERPANTS ATTACK

Q What is the similarity between a Jew and a sperm?

A They both have a one in a million chance of becoming human!

Er, No.

Q What is the similarity between a black and a sperm?

A They both have a one in a million chance of becoming human!

Er, No.

Q What is the similarity between a man and a sperm?

A They both have a one in a million chance of becoming human!

Yep. 

That's just fine.

Well, AH's good friend, MJ, saw the last version of this joke in a newspaper. 

And he was none too pleased.

So, he complained, by email, and pointed out that when jokes which demean a particular group are, seemingly, the ONLY acceptable derogatory jokes, then the one-sided, cumulative effects are destructive and offensive to the group that is the target of those jokes - and, further, that persisting with such a state of affairs might well bring about some kind of retaliation!

And here was the reply from the offending publisher.

Dear Mr J

Thank you for your e-mail. I'm sorry that the Bloke Joke upset you - it is certainly not the intention of either the EDP itself or the Saturday Magazine to cause offence. 

When Saturday Comes is a light-hearted feature designed to raise a smile on a Saturday morning but we obviously failed to be diligent enough in the selection of last week's joke. 

Peter Waters 

A trivial affair, one might suspect.

Wrong.

If nothing else, Peter Waters now has the issue raised in his mind, and, given his position - together with the fact that he is a man - he might also spread, overtly or covertly, to his colleagues and to his friends, the message that it is time to stop treating the male gender with such disregard and contempt. 

At the very least, he might well be less inclined to publish such things.

And all MJ did was to send ONE email. 

Activists take note!

from MJ to AH: 

Yes indeed. It is that easy. Just one email! But sadly there is not a lot to back it up. Now, if there was a mass men's movement who were involved in the kind of activities that the early wimmin's movements got up to - like noisy embarrassing demonstrations, burning bras etc - then we would make a great impact.

What's needed is a similar form of popular protest and civil disobedience - like sending your underpants to offenders through the post perhaps? 

Though good underpants, of course, are worth hanging on to!

Well, any ideas along these lines would help.

AH to MJ: 

This is a brilliant idea! 

Activists should hold on to their ragged threadbare undies and use them for lobbying purposes when the appropriate situations arise. 

Old socks, vests, jockstraps and posing pouches would also do the job!

Any man who is genuinely pissed off is actually going to feel pretty GOOD about sending - perhaps anonymously - an old pair of underpants - or socks. 

Sending a new pair doesn't give him ANYWHERE NEAR the same satisfaction! And it costs money.

Can you imagine the public farce if courts had to decide whether or not a particular set of underpants was offensive or not?

I can see it now.

The judge takes away your children, SEND HIM YOUR UNDERPANTS. Let him take those as well!

The magazine editor opts for publishing sexist misandric jokes, SEND HIM YOUR UNDERPANTS. If he wants to take the mickey out of you, let him take your underpants as well!

The politician argues for more sex-discriminatory corrupt policies to disempower and disadvantage you, SEND HIM YOUR UNDERPANTS. If he wants to deprive you of justice, let him deprive you of your underpants too.

The deceitful man-hating feminist who lies about you and demonises you, SEND HER YOUR UNDERPANTS. If she wants to demean and degrade, you let her do so by possessing your underpants too.

The Child-Support Agencies are unjustly demanding your money, SEND THEM YOUR UNDERPANTS. If they want the shirt off your back, let them also auction your underpants as part payment.

from JK to AH

re: MJ's suggestion and underpants 

I'm gonna do it!

The anti-CSA group that I belonged to used to send really awkward bulky items through the post. Telephone directories, catalogs, video boxes, newspapers. Anything that would interfere with the smooth running of the office. Many reports also showed that it was causing them real problems and taking them hours to sort out. There was also a program on TV about it. It was costing them a fortune.

My anti-CSA days are over but I get fed up with the constant bad mouthing of men and everything male in the media, it makes me see red, and the next one that catches my eye is going to be sent my old RED Y-fronts with the text below attached with a safety pin.

Men are entitled to the same respect, justice and human rights that any other group is. I hope my pants are an adequate metaphor for my disgust at your offensive material.

From A MAN

AH to JK

Only one pair of old underpants JK? 

I've got loads. 

There's something about old underpants that you don't want to let go of. 

I'm not quite sure what it is about them. I think that it is their warm familiarity.

I've got about 14 new pairs still in the wrappers from when they were bought for me AGES ago. Christmas, birthdays, Valentines Day, Christmas, birthdays, Valentines Day.

And some are Calvin Klein too!

They are all part of a conspiracy going on among my alleged loved ones to change my dress code. But I refused to budge.

UNTIL NOW!

Because the wrappers are finally coming off  - and my old friendly boxer shorts shall become my new armory in the fight against feminism.

No longer will I groan inwardly when more new pairs of undergarments come my way. Henceforth, I shall view them in a new AND WELCOME light ...

AS FUTURE AMMUNITION!

I am empowered!

I may even cut them in half when the time for an offensive comes - and so double their effectiveness, like a cluster bomb.

Go out and buy yourself some more new underpants JK. 

It is time for war.

Post Your Pants

TB answers HB