Especially For Young Women


old geriatric couple dancing close together cartoon

Geriatric Sex

Would You Get Married Again?

Woman: Would you get married again if I died?
Man: Definitely not!
Woman: Why not -- don't you like being married?
Man: Of course I do.
Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
Man: Okay, I'd get married again.
Woman: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)
Man: (audible groan)
Woman: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
Man: Where else would we sleep?
Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
Man: She can't use them -- she's left-handed.
Woman: (silence)


Geriatric Sex

USA By the time they reached their 80s and 90s, only 2 percent of women reported recent sexual activity. 

Only 2%?

What do they mean by 'only' 2%?

women in old folks home senior retirement homeHow on earth are women in their 80s and 90s managing to have any sex at all?

And what kind of sex are they actually having without breaking anything? This is what I would like to know.

And where are the luckless men who are undoubtedly being ruthlessly and rudely forced into giving these feeble old skinbags some sex actually coming from?

Ah yes. Perhaps from the planet Krypton.

Yes, that must be it!

 old man superman outfit cartoon


When the lights are out and Doris has finally set her teeth fizzing away in the glass, through the doorway appears a handsome rugged-jaw hunk with the pectorals of a polar bear dressed in leotards.

What other explanation is there?

Human men are mostly dead and gone by then, surely?

And the few remaining men who do survive to such an old age can barely walk and talk, never mind hump and pump.

And human men who do manage to survive into their 80s and 90s have heart disease, brittle bones, arthritis and mental problems.

So, Yes, these men must be from Krypton.flying old superman from planet Krypton cartoon

Or is it really possible that the tiny number of human men who have actually managed to remain breathing at this age are actually doing all the rounds sexually fulfilling the 2% of ancientesses?

You know - perhaps sneaking themselves into all the rooms at the nursing homes.

And how do we know that this 2% of ancient women were actually telling the truth in this telephone survey, eh?


old worried woman on telephone cartoon


We all know that all women lie when it comes to sex or anything anatomical.

So maybe these old wizened prunes were just lying

Or, much less likely but possible, perhaps they misunderstood the questions.

"Have you had any recently?"


"Have you had any recently?"




"You've had sex!?"



"Did you say, Sex?"

"Yes. I said Sex!"


Well, you see the point!

Nevertheless, some of these old codgers clearly never give up trying. ...


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