Especially For Young Women



My Beautiful Wife


Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, HoratioMy darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet and so were you.
But the roses have wilted, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I thought that I could hate no other.
Until, that is, I met your mother.

Your loving beauty would float with grace.
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes what you are not.

I want to feel your warm embrace.
So here's a bag to cover your face.

I love your lips, your face, your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

I see your face when I am dreaming.
Which is why I mostly wake up screaming.

My feelings for you no words can tell.
Except for maybe "go to hell".

woman looking at money with gleeUK Love Map Statistically, single men searching for unattached women would be best to focus their efforts on the London borough of Kensington and Chelsea. But they'd also better have deep pockets

Not only is the royal borough one of the wealthiest in the country, it also has the highest ratio of single women to single men.

No surprises there! The country's floosies clearly congregate where the smell of money densely permeates the ether.

Seventeen Lovers For Nine Million An "unremarkable" accountant stole 9.5 million to support 17 lovers, a court in Japan heard yesterday.

Lovers sure are expensive these days.

And this, of course, is why I keep my missus.

She's very cheap in comparison to most other women; if you don't count the ulcers, the headaches, the tumours and the occasional heart attacks.

Blondes To Become Extinct A study by the World Health Organisation found that natural blonds are likely to be extinct within 200 years because there are too few people carrying the blond gene. According to the WHO study, the last natural blond is likely to be born in Finland during 2202.



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