Talk Now Think Later

The difference between men and women, summarised.

Apparently, men think before they speak, whereas women, well, ... er, .... hmm, ... um ... ... don't.

Yes. "Don't".

That was the word I was looking for.

You know, this video has been on my mind ever since I posted it up.

And given that I have seen hundreds of videos to do with gender differences over the years, it seemed strange to me that this particularly simplistic video kept nagging me.

Why? Why? Why?

Well, I think that I can now tell you.

Sheikh Jassem Al-Mut'awa (better known as Jass the Misogynist, I imagine) has latched on to something here.

There is definitely a difference between men and women when it comes to the length of time that they will contemplate something before opening their mouths to pontificate about it.

You tell a man something of significance, and you could give birth before he answers you.

You tell a man something of significance, and you could give birth before he answers you.

Tell a woman something of significance, however, and her mouth is moving before you have even uttered your third word.

Her opinion has already formed.

Now, according to Jass (well I'll be damned if I am going to type out Sheikh Jassem Al-Mut'awa all over again) the reason for this rapidity of response by women is a sign that they talk first and think later - though, quite frankly, he fails to provide any evidence for the 'thinking later' bit.

Whereas men, he says, think first, and then they talk.

But I think that Jass has got this all wrong as a result of his inbred misogynism.

He does not seem to appreciate that women are very fast thinkers indeed.

So fast, in fact, that their brainwaves, when thinking, travel faster than the speed of light.

women can work out what a man is about to say well before he actually says it.

As a result, women can work out what a man is about to say well before he actually says it. Then, in a flash, they can form their expert opinion about it, and then respond with a well-composed, logically-consistent argument; at a point that is actually backward in time compared to where the man is.

It is like their minds have travelled through hyperspace.

So, the man thinks that he is being interrupted when, in fact, the woman has simply moved back in time - without much effort - and has figured it all out well before he, himself, got there.

Or something to that effect.

And this seems to me to be far more plausible than Jass' (or is it "Jass's") view that women just do not think before they speak.

So how can we test this using Science?

ask women penetrating questions, and see how they reply.

Well, one possibility is to ask women penetrating questions, and see how they reply.

If my time-travel theory is correct, then it will be found that women will respond to the aforementioned penetrating questions with some evidence of having understood them.

On the other hand, if Jasseses' Talk-Now Think-Later theory is correct, then women will respond to the aforementioned penetrating questions with no evidence of having understood them. 

But, at the moment, the scientific jury is still out, I'm afraid.

In fact, I can actually hear them deliberating.

The men jurors are going, "Ha. Hmm. Ha. Nnnnnnn. Ha. Naaaaah. Yerrrrrrr."

... ...

... ... ... And the women jurors seem to be doing all the talking!

I sat next to the Duchess at tea;
It was just as I feared it would be.
Her rumblings abdominal 
Were simply phenomenal,
And everyone thought it was me!


There was an old man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
His daughter, named Nan,
Ran off with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket. 


A glutton who came from the Rhine,
When asked at what hour he would dine,
Replied, "At eleven,
At three, five, and seven,
And eight, and at quarter past nine." 


There was a young girl from New York
Whose body was lighter than cork.
She had to be fed
For six weeks upon lead
Before she went out for a walk. 


There was an old lady of Rye
Who was baked by mistake in a pie
To the family disgust
She emerged through the crust
And enquired, with a yawn, "Where am I?"


There were three little birds in a wood
Who always sang hymns when they could.
What the words were about
You could never make out,
But you felt it was doing them good.

Also see, ...

Women and Chimps