The reason that men do less housework than
women is because, quite simply, they are less easily offended by any given level of mess.
Furthermore, to vacuum, dust or polish requires the same
motivation levels in men as are required for moving house!
Men just do not respond to the same low levels
of untidiness as do women. And so whenever the female-threshold is
reached, and the good woman must whisk herself away to tackle the debris around
the house, the man remains undisturbed, at peace, and contented with his
His threshold to domestic action has still a
mile to go!
My teaspoons have to be positively caked
with various oxides and tannins from my tea-drinking habit - with not a sliver of silver
to be seen - before they hit the washing-up bowl for their annual scrape.
But have you noticed how women clean the
teaspoons even after just one or two stirrings!?
They pour the tea. They take a clean teaspoon
out of the drawer. They stir in the milk. And then they toss that very
same teaspoon - that sweet virgin of a teaspoon - straight into the
But, of course, this is all part of the gender
Statistically speaking, women are far more
concerned with how things appear to be, rather than with what they are. And this
is not just the case when it comes to their labours concerning clothes, makeup,
fashion and bodily decorations, it even extends to teaspoons!
And to housework.
But if men were more like women - that is,
more concerned about how things look rather than how things are - then women,
western women, that is, would not now be living their precious lives as the most
pampered, the most protected, the most catered for, and the most over-indulged
organisms ever to have existed on the planet.
And so, "Let them do most of the housework,"
I say. They seem to be doing pretty well out of it.
"Hurry up, Woman! Get your lazy ar*se in gear. I'm
Ah yes. Those were the days.
The good old days.
When men were men, and when women were, as ever, complaining.
Besides which, it is part and parcel of women's
wily natures to be concerned more than men about the look of things.
Appearance is everything.
If it doesn't look good, then it doesn't work in her eyes.
And even if it works beautifully, she still won't want it.
But if it looks good, she'll have a dozen.
This is why women insist on doing the housework.
Of course, she might look as if
she would like you to do some housework. But don't be fooled. This is
simply her cunning nature at work.
She's just really testing you; to see how much she can provoke you
before you give her a good and thorough spanking.
So, whatever you do, don't fall for her crafty ploy.
Let her do it all.
Of course, if men were actually forcing
women to do more housework than themselves - rather than it being the case that
women actually feel more impelled to do it - then this might be some cause for
genuine concern, but, since there is no evidence to suggest that men are using
force, then, when pseudo-academics and sociologists or feminists complain that
women do more housework than men, the answer to them should be, "And quite
And if women want to keep their habitats more tidy than would men, then why should they not be allowed to
Nevertheless, you should always be very
willing to help out your woman thingy by giving it some expertise and sound advice when it comes to any
of its domestic
enterprises. And so, for example, you could explain to it that,
ergonomically speaking, it would be far more efficient if it made you a cup
of tea and a sandwich or two before doing the housework rather than afterwards.
Such refreshments would enable you to assess more
precisely the standard of
its workmanship when the tasks are done, and so you would also be able to pinpoint
accurately those areas of its work and attitude that needed improving.