28/11/02

Courts Drive Divorced Dads To Violence?

David Crary

Tampa Tribune

One divorced father committed suicide on the steps of San Diego's courthouse; another set his car afire outside Alaska's child-support office. Others, in an all-too- common scenario, killed ex-wives, their children, then themselves. Men who snap in such violent ways have few defenders. Yet fathers' rights groups, and some academic experts, see a common denominator in these bursts of rage and ask whether America's family court system could be partly at fault by deepening the despair of many divorced men.

``None of these guys are poster children,'' said Lowell Jaks, president of the Alliance for Non-Custodial Parents Rights. ``But when you cause this much pain to so many men, there are going to be repercussions: A certain percentage are going to crack.''

Women's groups and government officials doubt that courtroom bias is the cause for most of these destructive outbursts. Some experts say divorced men simply experience more isolation after divorce than women. But Jaks is convinced of his position.

He has even distributed newspaper articles to his organization's members noting the problems with child custody and child support that angered John Muhammad, the alleged Washington, D.C.-area sniper, and Robert Flores Jr., who killed three University of Arizona nursing professors before killing himself.

``Some guys kill themselves. Some snap and go out and kill others,'' Jaks said. ``You can dismiss them as crackpots; you can say we need more protection for women. But it's not going to take away the problem.''

Higher Suicide Rates

Augustine Kposowa, a sociologist with the University of California at Riverside, has conducted studies concluding that suicide rates among divorced men are much higher than for divorced women or married men. He attributes the difference to what happens in family courts.

``Decades ago, the pendulum swung in favor of the men, but clearly in the past two decades, the system is stacking up against men,'' Kposowa said. ``The man loses his marriage, then he loses a second time when child custody is granted to the woman. Unless something is done, by examining family laws and having new policies to aid men, the situation is bound to get worse.''

Extrapolating from Kposowa's research, fathers' rights activist David Roberts says child-support orders contribute to suicides of more than 5,000 divorced fathers yearly.

Roberts, president of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children, concedes that his estimate is unprovable and that suicides often may stem more from personality factors than legal bias. But he is bitter at what he perceives as unwillingness by politicians and most academics to take the suicide and violence phenomenon seriously.

Outside the fathers' rights ranks, government officials and leaders of women's groups acknowledge divorce and custody procedures are often imperfect. But they say the courts cannot be blamed systematically for divorced fathers' actions.

Nancy Duff Campbell, co- president of the National Women's Law Center in Washington, D.C., said many men who snap may have had violent tendencies over a long period that preceded - and contributed to - divorce and loss of custody.

``Sure, there are cases where injustices are done,'' she said. ``But the notion that the system is playing a strong role here is greatly exaggerated.''

Campbell endorsed efforts to improve divorce and custody proceedings for both parents so those who lose will feel they had a fair hearing.

Joey Binard, of the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, said states are shifting from a traditional presumption that mothers should get post-divorce custody of children. Many states say preference should go to the parent most involved with the children, she said, ``but that still leaves men on the short end of the stick because most are not primary caretakers.''

Wade Horn, an assistant secretary at the U.S. Health and Human Services Department, said divorced men who commit violent acts are ``the rare exception.''

But he said men commonly experience depression or other mental health problems after a divorce. And he suggested that some family courts may still give ``subtle preference'' to mothers in custodial hearings.

Horn predicted courts will become more evenhanded.

``There's greater recognition that it's important to keep dads actively involved in a child's life, that child support should be more than just going after dad's wallet,'' he said.

Violent Incidents

Frustrations over child support and visitation figured into several recent violent incidents. Among them:

* In San Diego, a man upset by a court ruling on overdue child support fatally shot himself in January on the courthouse steps. Witnesses said Derrick Miller Sr., 43, who carried court documents, told a guard, ``You did this to me,'' before killing himself.

* In Anchorage, Alaska, Jed Magby, 43, set his Mercedes afire in October outside the state's Child Support Enforcement Division office apparently because of claims he owed $55,000 in out-of-state child support. He faces charges of arson and criminal mischief.

* In Erie, Pa., Stephen Trieber, 33, was sentenced to death in October for killing his 2-year-old daughter by setting his house on fire to get out of paying $250 a month in child support.

* In Tamaqua, Pa., police seized firearms and grenades in March at the home of a man who had threatened local officials because he was upset about a child-support order. Edward Nesgoda pleaded guilty to aggravated assault and other charges and was sentenced to up to 23 months in prison.

* In February, James D. Smallwood Jr. killed his three children, who lived with his estranged wife in Throckmorton, Texas, while they were visiting him for a night. Smallwood drove back to Throckmorton with the dead children in his car, then killed himself when he heard sirens. A judge had ruled that Smallwood, who had been accused of making threats, could have the children on ``quasi-supervised'' visitations.

National suicide statistics do not provide a comprehensive look at marital details - for example, whether a male suicide victim was a divorced father who lost custody.

But psychiatrist David Clark, a suicide expert at Rush-Presbyterian-St. Luke's Medical Center in Chicago, said fathers facing loss of custody are at above-average risk of suicide.

``You go through the open- wound agony of the divorce; you go through the agony of losing day-in, day-out contact with your children. And if you add either clinical depression or increased drinking, that's a combination that gives us gray hair,'' Clark said.