Dealing with an Unhappy Woman

25/08/04

:-)

More and more women are taking to picking up male prostitutes from brothels in Thailand for safe, no-strings attached sex with men who are trained to satisfy women. link now defunct

But, of course, there is really only one effective way in which to satisfy your woman so that she remains calm and at peace with the world, and so that she no longer feels the urge to complain daily nor the need to nag hourly about anything.

And this is to shoot her.

Take it from AH, nothing else will do the trick.

There is no other way to put her out of her malingering misery or to stop that mindless moaning.

And, more importantly, there is no other way for you to gain any respite from either of these things.

So you can forget about all the psychology books, the relationship experts, the priests and the marriage counselors. A bullet between the eyes is the best solution - especially for the longer term.

In the shorter term, the only real problem is getting rid of the body or trying to convince the incredulous judge that someone else did it - preferably that dragon of a mother-in-law; someone whom your woman increasingly resembles in both mentality and shape.

No way are you going to remain married to that!

That wasn't the deal at the ceremony. That wasn't in the contract. You have been sold a pig in a poke.

You have been cheated and abused.

But this is the price you pay for not checking out properly the goods beforehand.

If you knew then what you know now you could have had some semblance of a life.

But, No.

She had a sweet smile and a likkle dipple in her cheeks.

And you just loved seeing her in that bright green dress that you bought for her from Woolworths.

That's all that it really took, eh, Einstein?

You would have been better off sniffing crack for all these years.

And now you want your money back.

You have paid the price. You have done your time. And right now you'd give away both your legs for some kind of loophole.

Well, there's no loophole, Patsy.

She'll clean you out. And you'll have nothing left but the shirt on your back and the hole from your pocket.

This is a no-win situation.

You should have checked out that mother of hers before walking the aisle.

But it's too late now.

If you manage to get a good lawyer he'll take all your money, and if you don't, she'll take it.

And between them they'll carve up your little nestegg like a birthday cake or a plot of land, and then they'll hand the rest of it over to her own lawyer.

You will be fleeced and left destitute with absolutely nothing more to look forward to, except, perhaps, the occasional bowl of soup or a piece of string to tie your shoe.

What to do, eh?

Well.

With careful planning and a few well-rehearsed alibis it should not be too difficult to make your woman blend more harmoniously with your point of view about her.

After all, what is death?

It is merely a state of mind. An absence of thought. A great big zero.

So why do people make such a fuss about it, eh?

That's what AH would like to know.

And if your woman is unhappy, then why let her suffer? It doesn't seem right to let her feel so negative about things.

It seems unfair.

And so if you really cannot get that hormonal hussy who hisses and hollers all day long to feel positive about anything, then helping her slide quickly towards that great big zero is surely an improvement!

As such, a well-aimed headshot from out of the blue would be an act of kindness.

An act of mercy.

On the other hand, Matthew Fitzgerald seems to have some other advice ...

Moaning Minnies That sweet little girl you were dating seems like a charade and she's exhibiting some nasty negative traits, which you're not quite sure how to deal with. Matthew Fitzgerald

... but what would he know that AH doesn't, eh?

30/09/04

Dear Harry,

re: Dealing with an Unhappy Woman

Do you mean "shoot" your 'woman' with a GUN?

Sorry, please change that to "sh*t on"

Or something like that.

PLEASE!!!!!

A long reader of your very, very good website.

Thanks a lot!!

Hi T

Your email is much appreciated. And I understand why you might think that my humour - such that it is - is a bit too harsh.

But I live in a society where much humour is made out of men being hurt and killed - *****even in the mainstream******.

Whether it's humour over Bobbit jokes or men being kicked in their private parts or being slapped about the face or thrown out of cars or even being killed, or T-Shirts suggesting that boys should have rocks thrown at them, or men being raped in prison, westerners are inundated with the notion that hurting males is funny.

And so I make no apologies for making humour out of the notion that men who are fed up with their women should shoot them.

And if some people are offended by such humour, GOOD!

I do not mind if it makes them furious.

And in response to any complaints that I might receive about such humour I shall point out that I am simply aiming for 'equality'. I want to see greater equality in humour. I want people to find equal humour in women being shot or hacked about as they do in, say, Bobbit jokes.

Nevertheless, there is nothing on this website that even remotely reaches the levels of downright nastiness towards men exhibited by so many of those revolting wimmin who hide their spiteful horrible natures under the guise of being feminists.

Some 4+ years ago I got a torrent of hate-mail for my pieces Why Should a Man Bear Responsibility for a Woman who Decides to have a Baby? and Women are Sometimes Responsible for What Happens in Cases of Rape.

They clearly caused **much** outrage at the time. And yet they seem so very tame now. And this is because the times are a-changing.

And I intend to keep pushing various buttons that will help to change them even more.

As far as humour is concerned, if it is acceptable to laugh at serious acts of violence against men then there is no reason not to laugh at serious acts of violence against women.

Equality!